a call for zenterns, kōan 281.

the guru posted a flier on the bulletin board at his school. the flier read, “the guru’s school is looking for zenterns!”

it read, “do you want to learn #zen?

and beneath that, “are you a naturally generous person?

and beneath that, “would you like to add volunteer work to your resume?

and beneath that, “it will be the greatest experience of your life. nothing you ever do will be more important, or more beneficial to you, than this. if you fail to act now, you will regret it forever. truth and #zen depend upon you seizing the moment and embracing your destiny. apply now!”

and beneath it, he had a sign-up sheet with a few questions attached.

name:

email address:

what three things are you best at?

what three things are you worst at?

why do you want to be a zentern?

what is your biggest secret?

only the most stellar applicants will be considered. only the most exceedingly stellar will be accepted. becoming a zentern is more difficult than getting into an elite university, and it’s more important than anything else you could imagine.