the guru said, “i have traveled the world. i have met all kinds of people, from tortoises to kings, and i have learned all kinds of things. the best of these are #zen.”
the student asked, “what is #zen?”
the guru said, “#zen is happiness. ##zen is love. #zen is peace. #zen is a beautiful island in the middle of a placid lake. #zen is laughter. #zen is a sigh of relief.”
the student asked, “but what can #zen do for me?”
“#zen is the secret to happiness. #zen is the path to wealth. with #zen, you will be confident and strong and wise. you will not doubt yourself. you will easily communicate with others. you will fall in love, and you will go on grand adventures. you will even be able to fly.”
“teach me this #zen!” the student asked.
“i cannot teach you #zen. you must discover it for yourself. i can, however, show you the guide.”
the guru gave 17 to the student. the student read and studied and practiced the meditations and learned #zen and it was everything the guru had promised it would be. the student’s old friends would sometimes see him, soaring through the sky, alive and afloat with #zen.
17 was written by the guru to help all mankind, based on the knowledge he discovered through all of his travels, studies, and conversations.
“some philosophers are content with metaphysics,” the guru said, “they sit in their ivory towers and produce nothing of benefit to the common villager. but everything in 17 is easy enough for anyone to use. it is not complicated theory, but step-by-step guidelines.
“but will it work?” a skeptical villager asked.
the guru replied, “it will be worth every penny.”
“and how much does it cost?”
the guru smiled. “17 is a book for all. if i charged too much for it, some who deserved it could not read it. but if i charged to little for it, those who did would discard it as worthless. for people assume that they get what they give, and #zen is no exception.”
“so how much?” the villager asked, suspecting it was quite a lot.
“17 costs however much you are willing to pay.”
“you can pay nothing, if you are poor, or if you do not think it is worth much, or if you just want to try it out. or you can pay more. a rich banker once paid $17,777 for it, but most pay less.”
the villager asked, “you will give it to me for nothing?”
“of course,” the guru said, “for all the best things in life are free.”
“what do you hope to gain by this?” the villager asked.
“i hope to improve the world,” replied the guru, “and by improving the world, i will improve myself. my aims are for all, and my desires nothing but peace and happiness.”
the guru put up a sign that helpfully explained:
“these 17 meditations are bodhiful paths to peace. if everyone were to practice these meditations, the world would have many fewer problems than it does now. therefore, i am making 17 available for whatever you are willing to pay.”
“whatever?” a student asked.
the guru replied, “if you are a rich banker, and wish to pay $77, i will accept it and use it to expand my school. if you are a poor student, you may have it for free. whatever you can afford, you may pay, and i will not judge you for decision.”
the student bought a copy, and he paid more than nothing, and he did not regret his decision.
once, the oracle was asked a question: “who is the guru?”
and the oracle replied, “the guru is a man who has traveled the world. the guru is a man who has taught the secrets of #zen to many. he has founded a school that has spread his philosophy, teaching students and #zenterns. he has written a book, 17, which contains the 17 adventures for which he is most known. each meditation is like a light in the darkness, each a pathway out of the woods.”
and the questioner said, “what was his early life like?”
and the oracle replied, “one question per person.”
the tortoise saw a line outside the guru’s school, students waiting to buy their copy of 17, and he asked them, “what are you waiting for?”
and they told him, “we are waiting to buy 17.”
“it is the answer to all questions. it is the path to happiness.”
“the guru has written a new book of stories, i take it?”
“no,” the students replied, “he has written something different. he has written a handbook!”
“what kind of handbook?” the tortoise asked. “like, a bunch of rules on how to live your life?”
“no,” the students replied, “it contains 17 instructions for 17 meditations that you can do at home. each of them will give you insight into another part of #zen. all together, they give you the secrets to the world itself. tell us: what is it that you want more than anything else in the universe?”
“lettuce,” the tortoise replied.
“this book,” the student said, “will help you get lettuce.”
the tortoise got in line.
buy 17 today, while it’s still available. learn 17 fun meditations that will help you learn the secrets of #zen and how to apply them to your daily life. easy, simple, and massively needed. buy 17 now.